If you've never heard of Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD), you have now

My sister said something to me the other day, one of those things that stops you dead and makes you say, "Oh my god, she's right!"

What she said was actually commonplace: that most people don't realize how much a special needs child taxes a family's emotional and financial resources.

What was earth-shattering was the fact that she was referring to my situation. And she was right.

You can't tell from meeting them that my sons have Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD).

They're not "special needs" in the sense of having cognitive delays, language deficits or physical disabilities. In fact, they're unusually bright and creative.

But at their worst -- that is, at the moments when they're most overwhelmed by their sensory environments -- their behavior becomes disruptive and dysfunctional. They have meltdowns and tantrums, grow irritable, refuse to make eye contact, run away and even, at their most frustrated and overwhelmed, lash out with feet and fists.

To many people, they appear to be merely extremely ill-behaved boys. Some casual observers conclude that the problem is indulgent parenting. We need to be stricter with them. If we'd just punish them when they run around the store, they'd learn to stay at our side, we're told.

And that's how we know our children are not simply badly-behaved: no amount of reward or punishment can persuade them to behave the way we want them to when they're in such moments. Because they really aren't in control of this behavior. In the face of overwhelming physical stimuli, they respond from the autonomic nerve system, going quickly into fight or flight mode.

Here's the other way we know that our sons aren't spoiled, undisciplined, and disobedient: when you treat the sensory symptoms, the unwanted behaviors go away. You can do this by changing the environment or by desensitizing the child to the stimuli -- for example, the large echoing auditorium where S. often had tantrums became tolerable with the introduction of earplugs that reduced background noise.

The trouble is that it's hard to get people to recognize SPD and to convince the other adults in their lives -- grandparents, teachers, babysitters -- that accommodations, not punishment, is what's needed.

For one thing, few people have heard of it. SPD is sometimes called a "hidden" syndrome because it's not in the DSM-IV (although it's being considered for inclusion in the next DSM).

As a result, pediatricians don't look for it and insurance companies don't want to pay to treat it. (The diagnosis is accepted by the Diagnostic Manual for Infancy and Early Childhood Disabilities (2007) and Diagnostic Classification: Zero to Three: Diagnostic Classification of Mental Health in Developmental Disorders in Infancy and Early Childhood (2006).)

SPD was the topic of Marguerite Kelly's Family Almanac column in the Washington Post with the headline "Neurological Problems May Underlie Behavior":

This neurological problem is often inherited, affects one in 20 children and may wreck a child's behavior, her disposition and her relationships with others because SPD can make a child overreact -- or underreact -- to a sight, sound, smell, touch, taste, movement or pain. Her brain simply can't respond to all the messages it gets from the sensory receptors that are in her skin, in and around her mouth and in her inner ear, and this makes her act in ways that annoy others as well as herself.

Some SPD children don't know where their bodies are in space, so they are clingy or they hate to be touched or they stand too close to their friends. Others bite holes in their shirts, walk on their tiptoes, talk loudly but hate to hear loud talk from anyone else, or act like they've been bopped with a bat when someone has only given them a light pat on the back.

And on YouTube, here are more descriptions:

Technorati tags: sensory processing disorder, SPD, sensory integration disorder, SID, autism, aspergers, OT

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Seder at the White House / Seder b'beit h'levon

From the White House blog:

"President Obama hosts a traditional Seder dinner in the Old Family Dining Room of the White House on Thursday night, April 9, 2009. Some friends and White House employees and their families joined the Obama family. (Official White House photo by Pete Souza)."

NB: to find out who was gathered around the Obama's seder table, see Chicago Sun-Times columnist Lynn Sweet's "Ma Nishtanah in the White House."

Tip o' the kippah to Jill at Writes Like She Talks for pointing out that the Obamas and their guests are using the trusty old Maxwell House Haggadah. Used by millions of American Jews over the years, the free Maxwell House Haggadah began in the early 1920s to promote Maxwell House coffee when it became certified Kosher for Passover.

The seder at the White House appears to have been a somber, respectful, traditional seder.

But maybe next year, the Obamas could join the trend and host a more playful, child-oriented seder. Then Sasha and Malia can enjoy acting out the 10 Plagues with plastic frogs, fake blood, sunglasses (darkness) and marshmallows (hail). Like my kids.

Sure, it's goofy. But we had a good time.

And I did set a very nice table, as my mother would have said, with the nice china and tulips from my own garden.

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@fratboyz plz bring more beer: social media on the college party circuit

The earliest college-style party I know of appears in "Mostellaria" (The Ghost), a farce by Plautus ca. 200 BCE, in which a young Athenian hosts a party for his buddies while his father is out of town on business. Dad comes home unexpectedly, guests are hurriedly hidden, and son spends the rest of the play trying to keep dad in the dark.

A college party is, by definition, designed to drive grown-ups crazy. It's the sine qua non of the term "impaired judgment."

Wow, I'm feeling a bit nostalgic here. Or not. Anyway, here's a new wrinkle.

At Loyola Marymount University in the Los Angeles suburb of Westchester, residents are blaming Twitter for a new wave of wild partying that disturbs neighbors' sleep and brings down their property values.

"Microblogging services like Twitter are not only allowing students to find out where their classmates are partying, but also when the gatherings are about to be shut down by the police,"reports Caitlin Moran in The Chronicle of Higher Education's Wired Campus.

A local news station quoted a Los Angeles police officer describing “100 or 150 kids” filing out of a house with “all the things lighting up in their hands” — presumably in response to a microblogged warning."

Watch out for those spooky hordes of fleeing students armed with "all the things lighting up in their hands!" Technology is evil! And here's why, according to the blog WestchesterParent:

Instant messaging means instant party, and they can start quickly at any time of the day or evening. Just as quickly they can end abruptly and restart hours later as students move from party to party fed by today’s technology and making it more difficult for police to respond. [lilatovcocktail's note: emphasis is mine]

The ability to spontaneously generate parties was well-documented in the 16-24 year old population long before social media came along.

Word-of-mouth raves were held in abandoned warehouses in the mid-80s. Prohibition-era speakeasies used code words or had the band play a certain song to alert patrons to police raids.

Blaming twitter for the increase in spontaneous partying is kind of like blaming beer kegs for the increase in student inebriation.

If they were smart, townies and law enforcment would get behind the technology, rather than getting bowled over by it. That's what the administration at Seattle University did last spring.

The Seattle Times reported that when SU officials discovered invitations to an off-campus student party on Facebook, Glen Butterworth, assistant to the dean of students, showed up on the students' doorstep and told them he knew of their plans and that city police and state liquor authorities would be enforcing any code violations.

The students grudgingly cancelled the party. "I was really mad, actually," said party co-host Gina Corsiglia.. "I thought it was pretty outrageous that he came physically to our doorstep ... It's none of [SU's] business ... It's a private residence."

On occasion, someone I know will send out word on twitter that the band they're listening at the Beachland Ballroom is terrific and we should come down. I appreciate that.

And I would go, too, if I wasn't so busy keeping my super-green lawn neatly cropped so that my property values don't go down.

Technorati tags: education, family, writing: blogging: journalism

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"Creepy Treehouse" effect: Twitter & Facebook suck when they're required by your professor

Fresh from the Chronicle of Higher Education's "Wired Campus" column comes the amazing discovery that college students DO NOT want to become friends with their professors on Facebook and they don't want to get "tweets" from their twittering profs.

When Professors Create Social Networks for Classes, Some Students See a 'Creepy Treehouse'

A growing number of professors are experimenting with Facebook, Twitter, and other social-networking tools for their courses, but some students greet an invitation to join professors’ personal networks with horror, seeing faculty members as intruders in their private online spaces. Recognizing that, some professors have coined the term “creepy treehouse” to describe technological innovations by faculty members that make students’ skin crawl.

Here's an (abridged) definition of "creepy treehouse" from Jared Stein, director of instructional-design services at Utah Valley University:

• n. A place, physical or virtual (e.g. online), built by adults with the intention of luring in kids. Example: “Kids … can see a [creepy treehouse] a mile away and generally do a good job in avoiding them.”
  
• n. Any system or environment that repulses a target user due to it’s closeness to or representation of an oppressive or overbearing institution.
  
• n. A situation in which an authority figure or an institutional power forces those below him/her into social or quasi-social situations.
  

Having been a college professor, I can testify that the only group more likely to deceive themselves about being young and hip are people who work in ad agencies.
Maybe profs are hip and young compared to their chronological peers. Or maybe having a captive audience of 18-21 year-olds tends to give you the false impression that you're fascinating.

I created private usenet groups to catch the spillover from class discussions, particularly my graduate seminars, at Case Western Reserve Univ in the early '90s. I asked each student to post once during the month for the experience, even if it was just with a question or a "hello world, I got online" message; after that participation was voluntary.

It appears that you can make your students join your Facebook network, but you can't make them like it. You can only make them dislike you. A story in the Guardian called Students Tell Universities: Get out of MySpace! explains that:

E-learning gurus want to exploit their students' passion for the new generation of interactive online communication tools - collectively known as web 2.0 - to deliver academic content. Not content with podcasting mini-lectures to students' mobile phones and i-Pods, they are hijacking the internet telephone system, Skype, and invading FaceBook.

But a research exercise ... has just revealed, amazingly, that students want to be left alone. Their message to the trendy academics is: "Get out of MySpace!"

Stein and his colleagues who study online learning suggest that college professors check out alternative social media systems designed specifically for educators. Those systems allow for the spontaneous and instantaneous communication Twitter etc. provides -- without bringing the stink of work into the playroom. Stein offers one solution proposed by Utah Valley Univ. student Tyrel Kelsey:

Students reject creepy treehouses for one reason: they are creepy. I think a better approach to education is the idea of a Personal Learning Environment (PLE) … which [students] can invite the professor into when they feel comfortable doing so.

Question: so what do you do with courses in which the media IS the message, as McLuhan so presciently said.

Increasingly the purpose of courses in journalism, media studies, and communications is to teach students the skills to use this technology, just at journalism students were once required to learn to read the shorthand of teletype or record and edit radio broadcasts on reel-to-reel tape.

Answer:?

Technorati tags: blogging, culture, education, media, technology

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Can you talk the (Jewish) talk?

Tip of the hat to JSpot contributor Rabbi Jill Jacobs' posting, Shmoozin' like a Jew. . . or not? for alerting me to this "Survey of American Jewish Language."



I just took it, and it's quick, easy, and interesting.



Jacobs wrote:

Do American Jews speak a special brand of English? Do Americans speak Jewish? What about New Yorkers? (cue your Lenny Bruce here.)

For a totally fun 10 minutes, try this survey on language (see below for details). Did you know that shmooze has at least three potential meanings? Find out more. . .

You are invited to participate in an interesting and entertaining survey about language. Essentially, we’re asking about the spread of Yiddish (and some Hebrew) among English speakers in North America. We’re turning to both Jews and non-Jews to answer questions like these: Who uses Yiddish words like “shmooze” and “daven” and phrases like “Money, shmoney”? Why do some people say “temple” while others say “shul”? Who prefers biblical names for their babies? Your responses will help us answer these and other questions, and you might learn something about yourself in the process. Please set aside 15-20 minutes, and click on this link to participate.



surveymonkey



Please forward this e-mail to your friends and family. We are hoping to get thousands of responses from people of all religions, ages, and regions of the United States and Canada. If you have any questions, feel free to e-mail Prof. Sarah Bunin Benor <sbenor@huc.edu> or Prof. Steven M. Cohen <Steve34nyc@aol.com>.

Technorati tags: Judaism, writing, culture, education, family, media

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The Girl Effect: Viral video par excellence & a great message too!

This video is sweeping through the blogosphere this morning (I owe a hattip to HaveCoffeeWillWrite, who credits WriteLikeSheTalks, who credits Human Folly, etc.).

Watch it, both for its own surprising message and for its succinct, non-invasive yet powerful use of online video.



(Or watch the video in situ at the Girl Effect website, and download the 2-page fact sheet.)

What's this all about?

From The New York Times Business briefs:

A foundation that Warren E. Buffett endowed with $1 billion has decided to spend part of the money helping adolescent girls in developing countries like Bangladesh, Ethiopia, India and Kenya.

Mr. Buffett’s son Peter, who runs the group, the Novo Foundation, said it was committing $45 million over three years to improve the girls’ chances of staying in school. They will receive microloans for farming or starting businesses, as well as mentoring and skills training. Novo is joining with the Nike Foundation, which is investing $55 million — making a commitment of $100 million — on top of the $36 million it has given since 2004.

“When you affect a girl’s life, you affect a lot more than the girl,” Peter Buffett said. “We hope this will be a catalyst for others to get involved in helping girls.”

His wife, Jennifer, said she and her husband realized this when, on a trip to a rural village in Bangladesh, they saw how one girl was able to stay in school longer because she could pay her school fees — and her brother’s — by selling crops from a field she planted with money from the Nike Foundation.

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10 ways to make your seder kid-friendly

by Lila Hanft, Cleveland Jewish News, 04/11/08

When the Red Sea parts during Kim Farcas’s family seders, the children suddenly want to be Egyptians.



To part the Red Sea, grown-ups hold up two bedsheets to form “walls” of water. The Jews pass through without incident, but the giggling “Egyptians” find the “water” closing above their heads, bundling them in bedsheets. (Tickling optional.)

A truly engaging seder for children will be “all about them,” says Farcas, an early childhood Judaics teacher at The Agnon School and mother of three. The activities and conversations should be age-appropriate and genuinely fun, Farcas explains. When her children come to the seder table, “they’re excited; they all care” about what’s happening.



“It’s not realistic to expect young children to sit still” as adults read through the entire haggadah, notes Farcas. “The younger the child, the shorter the seder should be.” She recommends giving children plenty of snacks and as much physical activity as you can. “By l’shana haba’ah (the end of the seder), we’re all up and dancing around.”



Some years, Farcas and her husband have conducted very child-centered seders, put the children to bed, and returned to the seder table for a grown-up reading of the haggadah.

It does take energy and creativity to make your seder kid-friendly, Farcas warns. “Prepare ahead, and involve your children in the preparation.”



Ten tips:



1. Chometz hunt: Involve children in the hunt for chometz (the leavened grain products forbidden at Passover). Ask children to find ten pieces of bread (sealed in plastic bags) you’ve hidden around the house. Attach words to each bag that form a secret Pesach message.



2. Pesachdik or chometzdik? Farcas involves younger children in this phase of Passover by putting out boxes of food for them to sort. They line up all the Pesachdik in one place and chometzdik in another.



3. To each his own (plate): Several days before the seder, have children sandwich a decorated drawing of a seder plate (use tissue paper and markers to decorate) between two clear plastic plates. Seal with diluted glue or decoupage sealer. (Google “craft seder plates“ for more instructions.) Some families put cheap disposable seder plates and kiddush cups at each child’s place.

4. Handy helpers: For the Urhatz (ritual hand washing), ask one child to carry a pitcher of water and pour it over each guest’s hands and another child to carry the basin and towel. Talk about how it feels to have your hands washed by another person and how it’s connected to the themes of Passover.



5. Flee! When the Maggid (the telling of the story of Exodus) begins, jump up, thrust a backpack into each child’s arms and give them one minute (or longer, depending on age) to collect the things they’d want to bring out of Egypt. Talk about how it felt to choose quickly and why they chose the things they did.



6. Maggidpiece theater. Act out the Maggid in costumes. Ask older children to write a script ahead of time. Children who can’t yet read can be given stage directions and lines to say by a prompter (an adult or older child).



7. Plagues props. Children’s “plague kits” are available in local Judaica stores. You can also improvise your own. Farcas uses cheap sunglasses for darkness and sets plastic cows upside down, feet up, for cattle disease. Plastic frogs and bugs can be found at dollar stores and oriental tradingcompany.com. For blood, Farcas puts water in one goblet and red food coloring into another. She pours the water into the food coloring, and then pours it all back into the first goblet. Her kids “know it isn’t really magic” but always love the trick. (Don’t pour the food coloring into the water; that would be “coloring,” which is forbidden on Jewish holidays.)

8. Which plague am I? Using purchased foam masks of the 10 plagues (available at local Judaica stores), Farcas has each child put one on backwards, so he doesn’t know what it is. Then he asks the others questions until he figures out which plague he is.



9. Don’t make me throw candy at you! The kid who finds the afikomen gets a treat, but she shouldn’t be the only one. Reward questions, answers and interesting thoughts with small toys or candy. To encourage participation, warn children at the beginning of the seder, “Don’t ask any questions tonight, or I will be forced to throw candy at you as punishment!”



10. Charoset cook-off. Assign a charoset recipe to children old enough to cook (with adult supervision). Along with the version you usually make, try something exotic like Israeli charoset with bananas, dates, and pistachios or Venetian charoset with chestnut paste, dates, figs, poppy seeds, pine nuts, dried apricots and brandy. (Go to jewishfreeware.org for recipes.). At the seder, vote on which you like best and/or discus why the recipes vary so much.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



More Passover reading from the CJN:



•Haggadot for every seder you can imagine and some you can’t by Lila Hanft (2007)

•Writer Marge Piercy lights the way to lively, meaningful seders by Lila Hanft (2007)

•Seders and the Civil War by Lila Hanft (2006)

•Making new memories at your family seder by Lila Hanft (2006)

•Seders like you've never seen by Lila Hanft (2006)



Food & entertaining



•Seder menu: favorites with a few new twists by Joan Kekst (2006)

•Passover pleasures from the kitchens of CJN staff by Carol Splaver (2006)

•Helpful hints for Passover baking by Joan Kekst (2006)

•Sumptuous and healthy Passover seder by Joan Kekst (2005)

•Ease the Passover kitchen crunch by Joan Kekst (2005)

•Desserts to bake ahead for Passover by Joan Kekst (2005)

•Enjoy lighter fare during Passover week by Joan Kekst (2004)

•Customizing the charoset by Gary Liston (2004)

•Shortcuts for Passover cleaning and cooking by Carol Splaver, Channah Appel & Ellen Harris (2004)

•Contracting to sell chometz, 21st century style by Herb Geduld (2004)

•Getting rid of chometz before Passover holiday by Joan Kekst (2004)

•New cookbooks stir up Passover delicacies by Rahel Musleah (2004)

•A Passover feast by Joan Kekst (2004)

•Preparing for Passover seder by Joan Kekst (2004)

•Passover substitutions by Joan Kekst(2004)

•Bake ahead for Passover by Joan Kekst(2004)

•Countdown to Passover by Joan Kekst (2004)

•Seder menu features traditional favorites by Joan Kekst (2003)

•Charoset recipes for Passover by Joan Kekst (2003)

•Preparing foods for seder plate by Joan Kekst (2003)

•CJN samples quick Passover fixes & mixes (2003)

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FestAviv '08

Celebrate Jewish life and Israel@60 with arts workshops, concerts, special events

by Lila Hanft, Cleveland Jewish News, 04/04/08

If last year’s event is any indication, The Temple-Tifereth Israel’s Beachwood campus will be buzzing with activity the weekend of April 11-13.

Like its inaugural festival, FestAviv ’08 shows every sign of being a whirlwind of concerts, special events and innovative workshops.

The theme of this year’s FestAviv (Hebrew for “springfest”) is Israel@60. More than 35 events and workshops will explore facets of Jews life in general -- and Israeli history in particular — through a range of creative art forms including literature, dance, music, relief printmaking, papermaking, theater, film and cooking.

Read the rest of the story

Download FestAviv '08 workshop guide

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Balancing study with action in Hodesh Limud

Balancing study with action in Hodesh Limud by Lila Hanft, CJN 1/10/08

When the first Hodesh Limud (month of Jewish study) wrapped up in February 2007, its organizers had cause for celebration.

The program had attracted sizable audiences and exceeded organizers’ hopes of bringing local Jews together across geographical, denominational and generational borders.

Now Hodesh Limud is back with increased involvement from local congregations and expanded efforts to attract adult learners.

This year’s theme is “Tikkun Olam: The Jewish Passion to Repair the World.” Nineteen mini-courses, a keynote address and a havdalah concert will address the theme in a sometimes surprising variety of contexts. They include the law, environment, kashrut, aging, immigrant experience, genetics, tsedakah, healthcare reform, and Kabbalah.

But this year, Hodesh Limud plans to provide participants with more than food for thought. Organizers are pairing abstract discussions of tikkun olam with hands-on opportunities for social action on the local and global levels.

Study vs. action

Remember the argument between Rabbi Tarfon and Rabbi Akiva over which is greater, study or action? Rabbi Tarfon argues that action is greater, but Rabbi Akiva says that study is greater because it leads to action.

Or, to put it another way, “some of us are talkers, and some of us are doers,” says Jeffrey Schein, Reconstructionist rabbi and professor of Jewish education at Siegal College. This year’s Hodesh Limud has been designed so that the “doers will listen to the talkers, and the talkers will get the chance to be doers.”

For example, a volunteer fair will take place during the keynote program on Sun., Jan. 13. After the address by keynote speaker Rabbi Sid Schwarz, founder of PANIM, a foundation with programs for teens on Jewish values and social responsibility, the audience will have an opportunity to “find out how to participate in tikkun olam in our community,” says Lynn Liebling, Hodesh Limud coordinator.

The volunteer fair, she explains, is about hands-on involvement, not tsedakah. “It’s not ‘what can you give?’ but ‘what can you do?’” to help the community.

Similarly, the events of Hodesh Limud’s closing weekend (Feb. 8-10) will also combine study and action. The havdalah concert with Rabbi Shawn Zevit is paired with Darfur Call to Action, “hands-on activities that can have an impact on the critical issue of the genocide in Darfur,” says Liebling.

‘Public Space Judaism’

The purpose of Hodesh Limud is “to extend the tentacles of Jewish learning more broadly in the community,” explains Schein, a member of the Adult Jewish Learning Council, which sponsors Hodesh Limud with Siegal College, the Jewish Education Center of Cleveland, the Greater Cleveland Board of Rabbis, and the Jewish Community Federation of Cleveland.

To attract new segments of adult learners last year, organizers held classes in public spaces like coffee shops, bookstores and libraries. That decision really paid off.

Rabbi Stephen Weiss of B’nai Jeshurun, who taught a course in a downtown office building last year, was particularly pleased when students in his class “shared that this was their first time in Jewish studies class. It was something they’d always meant to do.”

This year, says Liebling, Hodesh Limud continues to reach out to new audiences, particularly among younger professionals, West Siders, New Americans, and interfaith families. Organizers have appointed special “ambassadors” from each of these communities to extend personal invitations to friends, family and acquaintances.
___________________________________________
RELATED STORIES

•Who invented Tikun-Olam?
by Hannah Hashkes

•Repairing the world: option or obligation?,
an interview with Rabbi Sid Schwarz
by Ellen Brown

_________________________________

INFO
WHAT: Hodesh Limud/Month of Jewish Study 2008. “Tikkun Olam: The Jewish Passion to Repair the World”
WHERE: Siegal College. 17 other local venues
WHEN: Keynote address Sun., Jan. 13;
Closing ceremony (Hadra)n Sun., Feb. 10;
Mini-courses throughout the month (register by Jan. 9)
COST: $18 for unlimited classes
CONTACT: 216-464-4050, ext. 150, lliebling@siegalcollege.edu, or www.hodeshlimud.org/
_________________________

Hodesh Limud by the numbers
$18: one-time fee for unlimited classes
19: number of-mini-courses
2-5: number of sessions per mini-course
68: total number of classes, eventsand programs
30+: number of course leaders and special guests
18: number of venues: including
6 synagogues
6 Jewish community buildings
2 public libraries
2 coffee shops
1 nature center
1 bookstore
3 number of courses on the topic of food
6: number of courses about health
1: number of courses about Jewish holidays
28: number of times the phrase "tikkun olam" appears in the Hodesh Limud brochure (available for download at www.hodeshlimud.org/files/brochure2008.pdf)
_________________________

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The Story of Stuff

The Daily Eureka!

I've always loved the line in the movie "Say Anything" when John Cusak's character, Lloyd Dobler, is asked by his girlfriend's father about his career plans.

"I don't want to sell anything, buy anything, or process anything as a career. I don't want to sell anything bought or processed, or buy anything sold or processed, or process anything sold, bought, or processed, or repair anything sold, bought, or processed. You know, as a career, I don't want to do that."

Lloyd Dobler would have liked this short clever film called "The Story of Stuff with Annie Leonard." The film succinctly and pointedly explains the entire cycle of production, consumption and disposal of "stuff" particularly its hidden human and environmental costs in. Although it's 20 minutes long, it's fast-paced and compelling.

Here's a trailer:

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Top 10 Quotes of 2007

"I'm not going to get into a name-calling match with somebody (Vice President Dick Cheney) who has a 9 percent approval rating." -- Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, a Democrat.

That's #7 -- and my personal favorite -- on the list of Top 10 Quotes of 2007 from Dr. Fred Shapiro, editor of the Yale Book of Quotations.

Source: The fabulous ResourceShelf website.

~+~+~+~+~

The many moods of Dick Cheney.

.

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Light Fell, a novel by Evan Fallenberg. Or, How not to host a family reunion

Reviewed by Lila Hanft, Cleveland Jewish News, 12/28/07

Light Fell. By Evan Fallenberg. Soho Books. New York. 2008. 229 pp. $22. (Read about Fallenberg here.)

In Light Fell, the debut novel of Cleveland native Evan Fallenberg, a 30-year-old Israeli scholar named Joseph Licht is blessed -- and cursed -- by an electrifying encounter with his soul mate. An immediate affinity occurs between Joseph and rabbi and scholar Yoel Rosenzweig, a tzadik (righteous one) renowned for his encyclopedic knowledge and depth of understanding: “It was the first time Joseph knew for a fact that he had a soul, because (Yoel’s) eyes had reached it, surrounding and assessing it. He at once sensed his own soul’s shape and depth and density.”

Joseph, a professor of literature, lives in a state of alienated irritation, though not misery, with his wife Rebecca and their five sons in the moshav where he grew up. When Yoel begins to tell him about his most recent research “passion,” the obscure phrase nafal nehora which translates as “light fell,” it’s a natural segue into a discussion of beauty, attraction and “true friendship.” Yoel has found the phrase in several “strange and wonderful stories” in the Babylonian Talmud about rabbis and sexual desire, including one which speaks of Rabbi Elazar’s love of Rabbi Yohanan’s luminous beauty.

“I don’t believe that the sages condemn the particular brand of attraction that existed between these two rabbis,” Yoel explains to Joseph. “They treat it as natural, a divine beauty whose eventual disappearance is really something to weep for.”

And so Yoel and Joseph embark on a highly romantic affair -- a marriage of true minds as well as bodies. But on the day Joseph leaves his wife and sons, Yoel, overwhelmed with guilt, kills himself. This leaves Joseph alone with his “shameful” sexuality (it’s 1976; he’s religious) and the painful fallout from his decision to abandon his family.

Fast forward 20 years: Joseph, turning 50, has arranged a birthday dinner party for himself and his five sons and one daughter-in-law in the elegant apartment he shares with his longtime lover, Pepe, a wealthy Brazilian who “keeps” Joseph in a state of luxury and privilege no college professor could afford.

__________________________________

The interplay of desire, duty and identity is compellingly complex.
__________________________________

It’s the first time Joseph and his five sons have been together in almost 20 years, although he has sustained varying degrees of closeness with all of them. The boys have grown in very different directions: The oldest, Danny, is a resentful, underachieving plumber. For Ethan, a career soldier, the structure of military life protects him from life’s uncertainties. Noam, secular and cosmopolitan, has long since made peace with his father’s sexuality. But Joseph’s “perversion” makes the religious son, Gidi, “damaged goods” in the eyes of his Orthodox community; his twin brother Gavri, the least mature of the sons, is a follower of a charismatic settlement leader with whom he suspects he may be in love.

The weekend they spend together is full of hostility, sadness, and criticism -- with a handful of redeeming moments in which the characters manage to connect to each other.

Fallenberg’s prose is spare but lyrical, and his handling of the narrative elements elevates the book beyond the clichés of love stories or even coming-out stories. The interplay of desire, duty and identity is compellingly complex.

The characters’ preparations for the party, particularly Joseph’s orchestration of the meals and sleeping arrangements, brings to mind Virginia Woolf’s Mrs. Dalloway. In Light Fell, as in Mrs. Dalloway, the past is more than background to the present; it is an active force in the present.

But I wanted more for Joseph -- and more from him, as well. The promise of emotional intimacy in his relationship with Yoel is never fulfilled: he’s ambivalent about, if not downright resentful of, his relationship to Pepe.

Nor is he comfortably situated in the gay community -- he’s embarrassed by promiscuity, his aging body, and his sexual needs. Though the action takes place in 1995, Joseph still endures overt homophobia from his building’s doormen and his own children. The older, wiser Joseph may be more content and insightful about himself than the young, married Joseph, but he remains an isolated figure, outside the intimacy shared by his sons.

In this sense, Light Fell, although written in English by an American author, is quintessentially Israeli. It takes place, as does much contemporary Israeli fiction, in a world of constant argument and frustration, where everyday life is fraught with disappointment and every personal decision could -- and probably will -- set off unanticipated clashes with other people’s cultural, religious or economic realities. In a world where disappointment and loss are seen as constants, resignation is the philosophical stance these characters prefer.

At the end of Light Fell, Joseph does manage to save his life story from the most tragic interpretations by tearing up a crucial letter and tossing the pieces off his terrace. “‘You see, son,’ he shouts (to Danny) over the roar of wind and sea, his arms spread wide, ‘sometimes you just have to let go!’”

Booksigning: Author and translator Evan Fallenberg will be at Joseph-Beth Booksellers at Legacy Village, Mon, Jan. 7, at 7.
Sponsored by the Cleveland Jewish News, Soho Press, and Joseph-Beth Booksellers.

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Siegal College faculty to retain tenure

By Lila Hanft, Cleveland Jewish News, 11/30/2007

The status of tenured faculty at Siegal College is no longer at risk, according to college officials.

Siegal College provost Brian Amkraut squelched rumors that tenured faculty at the College would be stripped of tenure and offered three-year contracts instead. He did confirm, however, that the option had been on the table.

“It was a possibility we considered,” Amkraut admitted. “We are willing to do whatever we have to do to get our books in order.”

CONTINUED

Read the entire story at the CJN website.

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Personal essay: Fighting the tide of ‘hot’ Chanukah toys

by Lila Hanft, Cleveland Jewish News, 11/16/07

I wrote an article for the upcoming Winter Jstyle magazine about shopping for toys this holiday season. While I was waiting for people to call me back for the story, I began to answer some of the questions myself. The result was this essay, which ran on p. 4 this week in lieu of the editor's column:

“My kids don’t have any idea what the ‘hot’ toys are,” said a mom I’d once chatted with on a playground. She crooked her fingers in quote marks around the word “hot.” “They’re happy with whatever we get them -- even if it’s just crayons or blocks.”

What this mother didn’t mention was that she resided on Planet Smug in the Pollyanna Galaxy far, far from where you and I live.

By November, normal earth kids have already had so much exposure to this year’s hottest toys that the list is practically imprinted in their DNA. Sure, there’s a chance your kids or grandkids aren’t keeping a mile-long wish list n if they never watch TV, go to school, talk to their cousins, or attend kids’ birthday parties.

From a parent’s point of view, resisting the tide of holiday toy advertising is like being a salmon swimming upstream. We won’t get them toys that don’t meet our standards for safety, cost, durability, educational value, and longevity. But we still must endure the journey through those eight pre-holiday weeks known in the toy industry as the “hard eight,” when the barrage of toy commercials gives new meaning to the phrase “ad nauseam.”

Early in October, my 9-year-old saw an ad for “Deathstrike G.I. Joe with Real Dismemberment Action” (not its real name) and, eyes alight with what I hoped wasn’t homicidal frenzy, said he wanted it for Chanukah.

My 4-year-old heard him and said, “Yeah, me, too! We can use his blade to put people’s eyeballs out!”

“Honey,” I say, flinching, “you know we don’t buy toys with weapons.”

“But, Mom, it’s not a weapon!” the 4-year-old protests. “It’s, it’s, it’s …”

His brother leaps triumphantly into the breach. “It’s really surgery! It’s called dismemberment, but really he’s doing emergency surgery in the jungle. They don’t have medical equipment, so they’re improvising.”

“Decapitation is not surgery,” I say. “A machete is not a scalpel.”

“Oh, Mom,” the elder sighs, “you’re so predictable.”

By mid-October, with toy commercials coming fast and thick, the boys have long lists in their heads of all the toys they want for Chanukah.

The lists are my fault: Instead of arguing over each ad, I’ve taken to saying, “You can put it on your list.” The 4-year-old can’t write, so he’ll have forgotten his list by Chanukah. But I may be in trouble with the 9-year-old.

Two weeks later, high on Halloween candy, my 4-year-old asks for the 50th time if he can please have the Monster Slime Machine with Glow-in-the-Dark Snot for Chanukah. I’m irritated by watching him bounce off the walls in a sugar rush, so this time, instead of the usual “We’ll see,” I say, simply, “No.”

He looks up from the TV in evident surprise.

“There’s no way I’m buying you that,” I reiterate, in case he missed it.

His shock turns to amused incredulity: “Oh, Mommy, you don’t mean that.”

We’ve seen one ad for the Hot Wheels Monster Dino-Park 12 times in the space of an hour, so I’m not surprised when my 4-year-old says he wants it for Chanukah.

“You know,” I say, getting creative, “in the attic we still have your brother’s Hot Wheels Pterrordon Terrordome. Would you like that?”

“Mom,” he says, disgusted. “That’s just a pteradon. A Monster T-Rex is much scarier.”


A week later, after watching a morning of “Dora the Explorer” with ads, the 4-year-old decides he wants the Bratz Glitzy Glamour Car with Bling.

His brother is horrified. “Mom, you have to tell him he can’t have that. It’s for girls!”

“It’s OK if he wants to play with it,” I say. Hey, I’m a feminist. And in any case, I know it will only be a matter of days, if not hours, before his friends will tell him in no uncertain terms that he has stepped over the line. Preschoolers are more rigid about gender roles than born-again Christians.

Sure enough, the next day the 4-year-old glances dismissively at the TV and says, “I don’t want the Bratz Glitzy Glamour Car anymore. That’s for girls.” He makes a yucky face.

A few minutes later, however, he muses, “Although … maybe if Deathstrike G.I. Joe could drive it, it would still be cool.”

Like there’s any chance those Bratz would relinquish their car keys to G.I. Joe! They’re no fools.


The week before Thanksgiving, I overhear my husband explaining to the 4-year-old that the ad for the Hot Wheels Monster Dino-Park is misleading. “This part of the commercial is animated,” he says. “The cars won’t really move on their own like that. You’ll have to move them around with your hands.”

Stubborn silence. TV does not lie.

“It’s a trick,” my husband starts again. He stands up, seeking a visual aid for this lesson in consumer literacy. “I’ll show you what I mean. There’s a Pterrordon Terrordome in the attic that your brother’s barely touched. Wanna go take a look?”

“Dad,” he says, disgusted. “That’s a just a pteradon ...”

I snicker and walk away. I know how this one ends.


On Thanksgiving Day, the cousins hotly debate my kids over which toys are the coolest. The Monster Slime Machine? The Remote Control Hell-o-Copter? The Blood ’n Guts Team Portable Autopsy-Mobile?

Finally, the kids disappear upstairs and silence ensues.

“It’s quiet,” I say.

“Too quiet,” adds my husband.

We go upstairs, where we find speechless, slack-jawed children glued to a huge plasma TV, Playstation 2 game controllers clutched in their sweaty hands.

On the screen, jerkily animated guys in fuzzy green combat gear spray what appears to be napalm on their enemies.

“We have to get this for Chanukah, Mom,” the 9-year-old says.

“Yeah,” echoes the 4-year-old, in a trance. “It’s cool.”

I’m stunned speechless.

“Boys,” I finally say, “you know we don’t buy toys with weapons and fighting.”

The 9-year-old glances up at me.

“But Mom, they’re not really fighting … it’s more like they’re spraying paint on each other.”

“It’s sunscreen,” says the 4-year-old. “They’re just squirting each other with sunscreen to protect them from all the fire around them.”

“It’s not sunscreen. It’s napalm. And it’s what’s causing the fire,” I say between gritted teeth.

“Are you sure it’s not just water?” the 4-year-old says.

“It’s … not … water,” I grind out. “It’s A Horrible. Chemical. Turn. It. Off. Now.”

A sigh from the 9-year-old, as he and his cousin, also 9, roll their eyes.

“Mom,” he says, “you’re so predictable.”

Yup, I’m just another diligent salmon, heaving herself upstream for the good of the species.

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What? You mean a 3-year-old who can't sit still during circle time ISN'T destined to be a complete SOCIOPATH?

I'm the mother of 2 delightful but rambunctious boys who didn't sit still in circle time (or any other time), don't always follow the teacher's directions, and like to do their own thing in their own way and their own time.

Last winter their paternal grandmother declared that "they had no sense of obedience," and she's probably right.

After all, with the exception of life-threatening situations, blind obedience has never been high on my parenting list.

Independent thinking? Yes. Questioning authority? Yes.
Looking both ways before they cross the street? Yes.
Crushing their spirits? No.

So I am delighted to see any study that puts into question the growing trend among early childhood educators to pathologize children whose behaviors don't conform to their expectations.

Most early childhood teachers want children to sit quietly at times, share nicely, and do what they're told. I can understand why, and I'm happy to help with those are behavioral goals (even if I don't think they're likely to be met).

The growing trend among early childhood educators is to see nonconforming behavior as a symptom of a serious pathology that must be dealt with right away -- by the parents, outside of school with people with M.D. and Ph.D. after their names. "

Many parents at our school -- and I am one -- have marched their children from expert to expert in search of the holy grail of a diagnosis and treatment plan, preferably a pharmacological one (aka "the magic pill").

To audiologists and speech pathologists ("he doesn't always answer me when I call him"); to neuropsychologists and neurologists ("If it *is* ADD, he can just take a pill"); to pediatric occupational therapists ("He has sensory issues -- during fire drills he puts his hands over his ears to block out the noise").

Children with a real problems will benefit from early intervention.

But not every childhood misbehavior is a symptom of a psychopathology or illness.

These studies confirm the old saw that children develop at their own speed. And most of us end up pretty much in the same final spot, no matter how long it took for us to get there.

From the NYTimes:
Studies ease fears about young children's misbehavior
By BENEDICT CAREY November 12, 2007

Educators and psychologists have long feared that children entering school with behavior problems were doomed to fall behind in the upper grades. But two new studies suggest that those fears are exaggerated.

One concluded that kindergartners who are identified as troubled do as well academically as their peers in elementary school. The other found that children with attention deficit disorders suffer primarily from a delay in brain development, not from a deficit or flaw.

Experts say the findings of the two studies, being published Tuesday in separate journals, could change the way scientists, teachers and parents understand and manage children who are disruptive or emotionally withdrawn in the early years of school. The studies might even prompt a reassessment of the possible causes of disruptive behavior in some children.

“I think these may become landmark findings, forcing us to ask whether these acting-out kinds of problems are secondary to the inappropriate maturity expectations that some educators place on young children as soon as they enter classrooms,” said Sharon Landesman Ramey, director of the Georgetown University Center on Health and Education, who was not connected with either study.

*~*~*~*

Kindergartners who interrupted the teacher, defied instructions and even picked fights were performing as well in reading and math as well-behaved children of the same abilities when they both reached fifth grade, the study found.

*~*~*~*

In the other study, researchers from the National Institute of Mental Health and McGill University, using imaging techniques, found that the brains of children with attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder developed normally but more slowly in some areas than the brains of children without the disorder.

*~*~*~*

The findings should also put to rest concerns that boys and girls who are restless, disruptive or withdrawn in kindergarten are bound to suffer academically.

*~*~*~*

“The basic sequence of development in the brains of these kids with A.D.H.D. was intact, absolutely normal,” Dr. Shaw said. “I think this is pretty strong evidence we’re talking about a delay, and not an abnormal brain.”

Read the whole story at the New York Times website.

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